If you want to touch the sky, you must be prepared to die.

Yesterday despite running a fever I decided to go to work, more precisely walk to work under a very hot sun. When I got to work I was in such bad shape my boss sent me home, so I struck out home by way of the grocery store in order to pick up a few items. Throughout the portions of this adventure that I was walking I was listening to the Butthole Surfer's Electriclarryland. The music was very loud and my headphones are big and block most background noise even when the music isn't turned up all the way.

The process started on the way to work but came into full bloom like a desert rose on the way too and inside the grocery store. Starting as just a general sense of dissolution into the music, feeling totally consumed not just by the words, or the guitars, but the entirety of it. I became totally lost watching phantom cars race down the road some coming so close to striking me that even though I could see through them, I still flinched, and braced for impact.

On the way to the store I felt like I was phasing in and out of reality. Rather than coming from an external source I felt as though an unknown musician was playing the music on my soul.

Though even then I wasn't convinced I had a soul, but my mind was preferring to think in symbols rather than words and that was the best approximation. Eventually these thoughts faded and I let the music push me like the tide into the grocery store.

The store was packed but I felt utterly alone, but not lonesome. I felt like a ghost walking through a dead city. Not in the sense that the city was deserted but that the people populating it were like living dead, totally unaware of anything but the trivial minutia of their lives. In between this there flashes where the store seemed like a vast desert.

I vaguely remembered wanting to evoke Jim Morrison.

At the register the cashier seemed both welcoming and hostile at once, I was almost afraid to speak to her. Deciding to act bravely I took off my headphones, and heard her voice, an annoying white girl w/ a blaccent.

An end to the mystery, what a come down.

With that I felt my self transition fully into this world. No longer feeling like I was in danger of fading out of reality, I called a cab, went home, and took a cold shower.